Have started Chapter 2 of Being and Nothingness. Chapter 2 is about bad faith, which seems to mean lying to yourself. What I have read so far seems to be looking at the difference between lying to yourself and lying to others at the level of consciousness or being.
Which is sort of relevant to something I realised this evening. I was getting so frustrated with myself earlier this evening because it was taking me so long to sew 3 blocks. Then I realised that the block that was taking me so long had 104 pieces, so it kind of made sense that it was taking me so long. Not all blocks require equal time and effort. Some evenings I might be able to complete more blocks for the same amount of sewing. My view of myself as sewing slowly was bad faith, because it wasn’t a true reflection of the world, and deep down I knew that it wasn’t. Really I was just looking for another reason to think negatively about myself, cos I got upset about the whole house buying thing, and failure has been on my mind.
Now I am trying to relax a bit more about the whole thing, and not worry so much about a number of blocks per day, but about putting in a consistent amount of effort.