I am feeling quite proud of myself. I set myself the target of getting to 860 blocks this week and so far I am at 859 which is not too bad. Now I just have to find someway to get to 900 by the end of next week and I will be right. Not sure about my chances of that as the week before Christmas is always completely nuts and I have so many errands to run. My car has to go in for new tyres today, groceries have to be got, and I need to go to the shops to get more thread and fusible web, baking to be done for various work related Christmas morning teas, house guests tomorrow night and somewhere in there I need to find time to mow my lawn and trim the hedge that is collapsing over the driveway after the mad storm we had last week. I’ll just have to try my best I guess. The one thing I am learning from this is that the important thing is just to keep moving forward. Even if you don’t get everything done, if you can do one thing a day that gets you closer to where you want to be it really helps. Better go and do some more cutting out.
I am making the reluctant decision to stop reading for a little bit. I have less than a hundred pages to go, and four days over christmas when I will need to be away without my sewing machine. I figure that’s a perfect time to finish my reading. So the book is getting packed and sent off with my luggage this weekend. In the meantime I am just going to focus on the blocks and getting as many done as possible. Which works as a plan, but doesn’t make for very interesting blogging I’m afraid.
I made the mistake of starting to read a novel on the train on the way home, so of course when I got home I didn’t do any sewing I spent the evening reading. Then I thought about going to bed but couldn’t sleep so here I am, sitting at my computer pondering Sartre, when I really should be getting some sleep so I am nice and perky for work tomorrow.
So freedom and death. Where does that come in. Well if according to Sartre freedom is choosing then death becomes a problem, because we can’t choose the manner and timing of our death. I am sure Sartre will come up with some way out of it, but it did get me thinking about whether we do or don’t choose our own deaths. I’m not talking about suicide, which I don’t recommend, but other types of dying. Okay you can’t choose the exact minute but you can set yourself on the path. When I choose to eat too much junk, knowing as I do that I have a family history of heart disease, stroke and diabetes in a way I choose my future heart attack. When I drive way too fast I choose my death by car accident. Sure I could get hit by a car on my way to work tomorrow but probably only if I choose not to look where I am going. I am prepared to concede that there is the occasional freak accident entirely beyond your control, like a satellite falling on your head, but it is our choices that put us in that place, at that time, in those set of circumstances. I don’t know if that is the kind of choosing that counts. Most of us wouldn’t consciously choose our deaths if we thought that was what we were doing, but then most of us don’t consciously choose our lives either. I’m starting to think that is where Sartre’s freedom falls down. Existentialism is supposed to be about the evidence of the experience, and I am not sure that the experience of freedom gels with Sartre’s theory of it. I don’t know in the end whether that really matters.
Anyway, enough long-winded ramblings. Now I am going to have to go and try to get some sleep.
Had a really good sewing day yesterday. Actually got a lot done and am starting to think that it may be possible to get it all done by 31 December if I can keep this momentum going. Am off now to get stuck into some more sewing.
I was hoping for a sleep in this morning, but I was awake at 5am. The rain woke me up, and it has been raining fairly steadily ever since. It never used to bother me really, but ever since the flooding last year every time it rains I have in the back of your mind that it could happen again. I guess there is no point worrying about it until it does.
Not much happening here really, I have been reading but none of it is really sticking in my head, or standing out as really pertinent when I read it. Still on the topic of freedom and now looking at the role death plays.
I am starting to feel a little less tired, I had a big bowl of pasta for the first time in ages Thursday night and I perked right up, so I figure I haven’t been getting enough carbohydrates. I got loads of cutting out done last night and so am hoping to get a lot of blocks done today. Might have to make an excursion to the shops at some point to get some bread and need some new clothes for a trip away over Christmas. All my casual clothes at the moment seem to fall into either winter, or never be seen outside the house in categories. More importantly I also need to start preparing some sewing for the trip.
Am trying not to feel frustrated at myself at my lack of progress. I am still doing quite a bit. I sew in the mornings and on the train, and I have been reading pretty much every morning, it’s just when I have gotten home from work the last couple of days I have just felt so exhausted that I haven’t been able to bring myself to do anything. I think I just need to give myself permission to nothing. In a couple of days I will be over it, bored of doing nothing and impatient to get stuck into things again.
Not much happening here. I tried reading this morning but after reading the same two lines about 10 times and still not really having read them I decided to abandon them in favour of some pre-work sewing. Just looked at the block I did and realised it will have to go back to being unpicked. Nevermind, I have another 3 that I finished last night and 1 I finished on the train for you to look at. Hopefully a good nights sleep will get me back on my game.
Anyway, enough whinging, I am off to order my groceries and bake some chocolate chip cookies for a christmas party I am going to tomorrow night.